I sit here in Barnes and Noble, sipping on coffee and enjoying a delicious toasted spicy southwest style chicken flatbread sandwich, enjoying the relaxing atmosphere surrounded by books of fiction, fantasy, mystery and music from my iPod making everything feel very safe. Yet I my mind can't help but wander to the sear terror I know that is happening right across the street at the PetSmart...more specifically one of the grooming rooms where right now as I type, my 9 1/2 year old golden retriever is going through what in her mind I'm sure is the most horrifying experience of her life.
So I sit here and chuckle to myself because I know in 3 hours or so she will be reunited with me and soon to be safely at home with everything that makes her feel safe surrounding her, but the current reality at this exact moment in time is that to her, this will never come to be. in fact, if she can remember who I am at this moment, and by remember me I don't mean recognize me when she sees me again but I mean that she can literally conjure up an image of me in her mind, i'm sure her feelings go from love to anger and the persistent thought of "WHY!?". Because, lets face it, the moment I handed her leash handle over to the groomers, in her mind I was abandoning her to be left with hose monsters who will try to strip her of all her fur while they trim her hair, drown her in chemical water (soapy water) and try to cut her paws off as they cut her nails. It doesn't matter what anyone there says to her to try and calm her or no matter how many times they will pet her (her favorite sign of affection) she will still see these people as the monsters that haunt her in her darkest nightmares. Yes, my dog has nightmares....many of which shr has woken up from howling in the middle of the night...much like most of us have nightmares we wake up from screaming after a traumatic event as taken place. People lose sleep after someone they know dies or have witnessed a dea, soldiers have nightmares for years or life after being on the front lines of a war, and my dig has horrible remembrances after veing groomed.
People share the same fears my golden has, but you'd probably never think of it too often. What do you think people's biggest fears are in life, and no I'm not talking phobias, because phobias are really just extensions of everyone's greatest fear, death. Scared of heights, because the fear of falling to your death. Fire, the fear of burning to death. Water, drowning. Spiders, eaten. Same things for snakes, etc. But the biggest fear after death, in my opinion is being alone. This could literally be alone as in only person left in the world, or more figuratively as in no one to love and be loved by, no one to trust and confide in, no one to listen to you and talk with. This fear starts off even before e fear of death is instilled in the human mind I think. My reasoning for this is simply...babies. Babies, because they don't understand the world, can't grasp their own mortality, hence do not realize there is a line between life and death. Their lives are only preserved from death bynthose you take care of them, the parents. Babies don't know what will kill them... Like chemicals in bottles, knives, cars on streets, dangerous animals, etc...but they do know what they recognize, such as a loving, friendly face that has cleaned them when they "make an uhoh" or feed them when they are hungry. So there is nothing scarier to a child than the fimilar faces disappearing. The questions arise in their heads, "Where did they go?" "Will they ever come back?" "Do they not love me?" because let's face it, we are reminded every day until the day we die that the world is a scary place....so imagine the fear in a child who knows nothing about anything.
I witnessed this fear here today, when the table right near had a mother with her two children. The oldest child, maybe 8 years old was very polite to his mother, a rare site these days, but he was very active and wanted to explore the store, while the other child was was no older than 1, depended on his mother much more than his brother did. Yes, the older child still needs his mother for the portion of his life, but he was not dependent the same way this baby was. The mother sat there and answered every question the oldest child threw at her, and fed her youngest child at the same time. So when the oldest wanted to get a drink, she walked up to the counter her son to pay for his drink which he was very excited to place the order by himself, but to the youngest child, who was "trapped" in a high chair, this was the scariest moment ever. The mother was no more than 20 feet away, but this baby instantly began crying as his mother walked away from him, because this baby though "My god, this is the end." (granted the child as no concept of god, but you get the point)
Yes, you could argue that the fear is linked to the ultimate fear of death....but again with no real concept of death, the child is scared of what he does understand, which is his mother there to care for him.
With all that said, I can say that anyone who claims they aren't scared of being alone is a liar. We are a social species, we thrive and grow off of interaction with others.
I always find it funny how I think for a while about what I am going to write for my newest blog, but when I actually sit down and write it it ends up being something completely different. I have a bit of an adventure I plan on going on here soon, something I have cooked up in my constantly running mind while I was sitting at my girlfriend's church. So yes, it has to deal with religion....and subject I constantly come back to, maybe because I find it interesting or maybe because I find it too easy to debate and contradict.....or maybe both. But I'll go into it more on my next blog.
Until then....keep it real!
No comments:
Post a Comment